I’m incredibly restless today, and hungry. I have this emptiness inside and I feel hungry. I don’t even think it’s all emotional eating. Just hunger. Maybe it’s the cold, maybe it’s the rain. Maybe I’m about to have my period. I don’t know, just hungry.
I’m at an inbetween place, which I suppose is fitting since it’s Wednesday, an inbetween day of the week. And right now it’s an inbetween part of the day. It doesn’t really worry me, but makes me a bit restless and yet unmotivated. I suppose when I go home tonight I shall have to do something productive or useful and maybe it will jumpstart my anima again.
I realized I haven’t eaten my corn yet and it makes me want to eat corn very badly. It’s an odd desire, to want to heat corn, and I think that the corn won’t live up to my desire to eat it, but that’s okay, because least I’ll be gorging on corn. It’s better than the pretzels I’m currently eating.
I have to remember to breathe, because it doesn’t help my restlessness if I forget. At least deep breaths can help the hour pass, even if the feeling only subsides a little. A deep breath, because really it’s okay. A deep breath, because rushing won’t help anything. A deep breath, because things will happen eventually. A deep breath, because patience will make it easier.
And as easy as that–or perhaps it’s just the feeling of typing–I want to write again. I haven’t a clue what I want to write, but if I start doing it, I may find that the topic comes easier. Perhaps I should work on my project. (Which one, you ask, since I flitter through projects so often. Well, I shant tell you.)
I dislike the rain more than I dislike the cool air, because I can bundle up against the cold, but I never think to use an umbrella. I like talking walks during my lunch, it clears my head and helps me feel less like a bum with a numb bum.
It’s one of those days that you could just lock the door and snuggle back into bed.
The rain is falling hard.
…That sounds like the beginning of something.