Strange, isn’t it?

January 7th already.

time is all woobley wobbley.

I feel weird right now. I don’t know if it’s because of everything I’ve been thinking about or the brownies I ate O.O

I seriously need to not be as high-strung as I am.

I’m also pretty sure I’m in love with several of my characters.

Blogging at work

I’m incredibly restless today, and hungry. I have this emptiness inside and I feel hungry. I don’t even think it’s all emotional eating. Just hunger. Maybe it’s the cold, maybe it’s the rain. Maybe I’m about to have my period. I don’t know, just hungry.

I’m at an inbetween place, which I suppose is fitting since it’s Wednesday, an inbetween day of the week. And right now it’s an inbetween part of the day. It doesn’t really worry me, but makes me a bit restless and yet unmotivated. I suppose when I go home tonight I shall have to do something productive or useful and maybe it will jumpstart my anima again.

I realized I haven’t eaten my corn yet and it makes me want to eat corn very badly. It’s an odd desire, to want to heat corn, and I think that the corn won’t live up to my desire to eat it, but that’s okay, because least I’ll be gorging on corn. It’s better than the pretzels I’m currently eating.

I have to remember to breathe, because it doesn’t help my restlessness if I forget. At least deep breaths can help the hour pass, even if the feeling only subsides a little. A deep breath, because really it’s okay. A deep breath, because rushing won’t help anything. A deep breath, because things will happen eventually. A deep breath, because patience will make it easier.

And as easy as that–or perhaps it’s just the feeling of typing–I want to write again. I haven’t a clue what I want to write, but if I start doing it, I may find that the topic comes easier. Perhaps I should work on my project. (Which one, you ask, since I flitter through projects so often. Well, I shant tell you.)

I dislike the rain more than I dislike the cool air, because I can bundle up against the cold, but I never think to use an umbrella. I like talking walks during my lunch, it clears my head and helps me feel less like a bum with a numb bum.

It’s one of those days that you could just lock the door and snuggle back into bed.

The rain is falling hard.

…That sounds like the beginning of something.

Uhg

So what was I doing from 12pm – 4 am? it wasn’t sleeping, let me tell you that. From 10-12 I slept, and then WHAM awake (maybe from thirst?) I drink something and my stomach is all “gurgle?” so tha tkeeps me up for an hour or two, and then I’m wide awake and can’t sleep and restless and my brain is on overtime.

Which means this BEAUTIFUL day that I was supposed to ride during, is wasted because I need sleep.

F.ck

Resolutions

I don’t recall doing a ‘resolutions’ list last year (my searches came up empty, but it wasn’t a hard search). So I can’t say how I did this year. but I lost some weight and wrote more, so I feel pretty good about things so far.

As for this year:

* I want to write once a week. I’ve been doing really good with this lately and I did pretty well last year (err, for parts of it. I think there was some massive failing in the summer). One, because I’d love to finish the book I’m working on (which is quickly become a series in my head…whoops). Two, because I enjoy it. It oddly gives me something to look forward to on Mondays 🙂

* I want to participate in Nanowrimo (Soba, can you hear me pronouncing it funny? Cause I can.) this year. Which terrifies me. But I want to step up and do the challenge! *trembles*

* I’d love to get down to 120 weight wise, but I’ll settle with just being more fit.

* Read more. I know, some people think I’m nuts, but I’d really love to read the stacks of books that I own that I don’t read. Of course, I just got back from the bookstore…

* Meditate/destress. I seriously need to chill or something I’ll figure out the details later.