For psuedoLent I gave up chocolate and have been pretty faithful to the sacrifice, though I did have a piece of chocolate cake and a bite of brownie. That’s not really important, but I wanted to share.
Second, after hearing mention of a beauty regime in a book I was reading (Getting It by Alex Sanchez, for those who are interested), I realized that my mother never really gave me beauty tips when I was young, possibly because I wanted nothing to do with it. But really, boys and girls can have nice skin, which is all she would have needed to say to win me over (the characters in the book are all boys, and not all of them are gay). So I decided to attempt this beauty regime and see how it turns out (for those interested, it involves foaming cleanser, witch hazel and oil-free moisturizer). I’ve taken pictures to do “before” and “after” comparison.
Third, I guess…the books I’ve been reading. Still reading Be Last for the youth group and have added on The Art of Happiness “by” the Dalai Lama. Also, I took out Parrotfish from the library which is about a transgendered boy (as in, girl to boy) who is embracing the male side and all the struggles he goes through (a work of fiction, which has peaked my interest in nonfiction of similar, but haven’t settled on anything).
Coming from a rather conservative area, LGBT wasn’t particularly common (or spoken about) when I was a teen. I never really thought about it when I was in school, or if I thought about my attractions I kept them to myself. So when I went to college, my eyes were opened, to say the least. So I still feel like I’m trying to understand some things that other people have understood rather earlier in life, and I don’t know if that means I’m delusional about things or I’m finally coming to understand myself.
I won’t go into details, both because they are personal and because it would be rude (to my family) to make public announcements about things I’m not entirely sure of. Or something. The important thing is I love myself and am comfortable with myself, no matter who I become.
4 thoughts on “On Life, Beauty, and Gender”
Mom & Dad were sorta simultaneously “hands off” on parenting AND overly protective. Or maybe I'm remembering it wrong or changing the situation to fit my world view.All I know is that, accepting the above as true, it worked both good and bad magic. On me anyway.Its funny, because as you get older, you are supposed to think come to the thinking that your parents were soooo smart and you actually knew soooo little.And while the later is most definitely true, I find I'm not coming around to the former (wow, talk about being rude to family – does this count?). Maybe its because I always saw them as so perfect in the reflection of that conservative world we inhabited and now that I see more of the world in that mirror, I have more to compare too?Maybe I'm an ingrate?
I never really thought about how they were both hands off and overly protective. They definitely let me do my thing for the most part, whatever that was, as long as it was inside the house, but once I left the safety of home they were kinda overwhelming (or at least mom was). I turned out okay, so I guess I can't complain, but I kind of wish I could whisper some secrets into my younger self's ear.I never really thought of mom and dad as being “stupid” and I knew all the answers (as is classic teen syndrome), so I guess the switch can't happen. I think it's harder for us to see them as “so smart” because we take in information at a higher rate and we're more jaded about the information we receive, I think. It's weird, but I never really thought of them as conservative, but dad definitely is, now that I think about it. They aren't radical or anything, but yeah, they are alot less liberal when compared to the rest of the world!
I think Mom & Dad probably wouldn't consider themselves small “c” conservative. Especially not Mom.Yet I think, in the broad scope of the world, they are; even mom.The information uptake comment is interesting. Mom & Dad consider themselves to be very smart, I think, certainly smarter than the average bear, yet I've noticed more and more that they either don't uptake very much info or don't care too.I know I'm a researcher by birth and trade. Information, and more of it, is my motto. Hell, we watched the movie Emilia (Earhart) the other day and I was googling her before the credits ran.Meanwhile, Mom & Dad seem to lazily fall into a piece of information and take it at face value. Is that how they always were, or is that age? And *gasp* is that the fate that awaits us?
I can't answer if that's what awaits us, but I doubt it. I think it's part of that thing where we're more used to have information coming from all angles and not all of it is “true” while they were raised with less information and more of it was true (or you had fewer options to choose from).