I had the beginnings of this blog entry all written out–in my head. The problem was that I was driving and it made transcribing very difficult. Actually, kind of impossible. So now I just have to rant and hope it comes out okay.
I was having a discussion with someone (female, woman) and she was, like so many others, complaining about her husband. I didn’t mind that; we all have issues to get off our chests. (Her main issue was she would ask her husband to do something and he’d say he’d get to it and then wouldn’t, or wouldn’t when she wanted it done.) But then she kept saying “men always,” “what is it with men,” “men are so” and so forth. And it bothered me. A lot. Probably more than it should have.
But why do we have to take what one person (in this case, husband) is doing, and blame an entire group on it? Okay, what she was describing is similar to behaviors my father exhibits, but my friend B doesn’t act like that, and while my brother B may, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t do it to the same extent. In fact, I would probably do it more than both B’s, just because I don’t like doing things when people tell me to. I need a broad deadline and I’ll get it done before then, but not NOW. I need to work under my own schedule.
Does that make me more of a man than them? No, of course not. Because being a man isn’t (strictly) a set of behaviors. Behaviors, like so many other things, are individual traits that cross over groups. And I’m sick of people putting all groups together as one, especially with negative traits. If you’re going to do it, use the phrase “why are some men so..” etc.
Women would be pissy if a man said “women are so defenseless and weak,” wouldn’t they? Well, then, women should offer men the same respect. I know there are double standards all over the place; it doesn’t mean I have to put up with it.
People are individuals, let’s treat them that way.
(And in case you were wondering, I told the person I was talking to that no, the behavior she was describing was in fact her husband’s behavior and not that of all men. I think she got the point.)