Looking to the future…and the past

Every time I’ve been asked, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” I just stare at the asker, sort of stumped. It’s not that I’m a forward thinker, but I’m content with where I am. With what I’m doing. Thinking so far ahead makes me feel like I’m unhappy with where I am, which in turn normally makes me unhappy. I have long-term goals, but nothing concrete. They’ll come when I am ready for them to come.

Well, I’m ready, I guess 🙂

I have a two-year plan that by the time I’m 30 I’ll have at least one book published (not self published). Maybe not a big deal since I already have some books done, but then I read blogs from authors and I figure giving some flex might be nice. It’s going along with the overall plan of writing more.


This weekend was an anime convention, which was fun, but had been sucking up all my time getting a costume ready for it. Today I rested, finished reading The Cat in the Cradle by Jay Bell, and slept a lot, plus worked hard to get stuff done around my apartment that had been pushed to the back burner. Breathing was nice.

I look forward to returning to the writing regime now that cosplay stuff is done. It also got me thinking about convention stuff and putting my money into it and everything. I don’t think I can actually stop going, because it’d be kind of antisocial of me, but I’m rethinking cosplay. It’s costly, stresses me out, and distracts me from other things I could be doing. Like writing.

It’s just hard, because I can talk to my friends about cosplay progression, but often talking about writing, when it happens, doesn’t provoke much discussion. While my friends support me, they aren’t really interested in it. Sometimes I feel my group of friends (myself included) are very self-focused people. We talk and have fun, but we never really listen to what the others are saying. It’s not bad and rude or anything, but sometimes it’s tiring. And it’s hard having different interests than them sometimes. I’m not a big talker to begin with. Thankfully my brother is a surprisingly awesome listener!

Have I mentioned that I have a tumblr account that posts creative jumping off points?

Exhaustion by any other name….

It started friday night…

I went to bed at 1 am and woke up at 5:30…no reason, just couldn’t sleep. I napped through out the day, but nothing really restorative.

Saturday night was better, but restless, I kept waking up and having weird dreams.

Last night was about the same, though finally from 2-6:30 I slept fairly deeply.

I hope this sleeping problem doesn’t continue. I’ve always depended on sleep as one stability in my life. I also hope it’s not because they turned on the new lamps on my block (which are bright as fuckin’ day). Or, if it is because of that, that I may learn to sleep with the light again, even though I just learned to adjust to sleeping on absolute dark (and that I sleep better that way). Or curtains, I suppose.

So this week is starting of with me being groggy and sore. Awesome.