When I was young(er), the Sublime lyrics “..in the summertime, the livin’s easy” felt true. At least until I was 15 and got a job, from which point every summer was working. Summer came to mean hard work, heat, sweat and no friends, through most of high school and all of college. Now that I’m in the real world and work all the time, summer is a time of longer days, different work clothes, and more sunshine. Of course, with the amiable weather, I’m enticed to venture out of my cave and participate in the world (as in, the horse world). Life isn’t so easy as hectic, and I think winter is when my “easy” time comes.
I’ve been listening to a podcast cohosted by J. Michael Tatum, who is a voice actor for some of the anime shows I watch. The basis of the show is that the two hosts (both voice actors) interview a guest (also a voice actor, although sometimes a director or engineer). Of course they often discussed being in the field of acting, how they had to take risks, how no job is really stable and that most just give you a false sense of security by being 9-5, when in fact you can be fired at any time. Hearing them talk about following their dreams, doing things they really love, and just DOING what they like, made me take a look at my own life.
This summer has not been easy on me. I’ve felt unmotivated and depressed for much of it, overwhelmed and exhausted for the rest. When I’m not goinggoinggoing, I’m struggling to relax and sink into reading or writing or television. While I’ve done plenty this summer (horses, writing, reading wise), I feel unsatisfied at where I stand. As if all my hard work hasn’t actually progressed me forward. It’s frustrating and saddening, and it needs to stop!
My point? I had a point? Oh, yes! I remember now…
There are only about two more months in which I’ll be riding four times a week, so my goal is to ride during those weeks and enjoy it while I can, before it turns bitterly cold and I’m miserable waking up twice a week to schlomp out in the cold (why do I do this again?). Step 1, enjoy horses while I can enjoy them.
Step 2 involves motivation. I was originally considering taking a language course at the local community college (Spanish or ASL, I was undecided). This would cost about $300 (after class fees and text book purchases). I figured it would be a good way to fill my time in the winter. As much as I do want to take a language, I need to do something productive first. I need to prove to myself that I can do what I want in life.
So step three involves sending something out for publication somewhere. I don’t care if it’s a short story, a tawdry romance, or an actual novel. I need to put polish on something and send it by March 31. I will be scheduling up baby steps for getting along that path, and I will have to find something to motivate me to stick to the schedule, but that’s the Plan.
Finally, in an afterthought sort of way…November is Nanowrimo, once again. I shall be participating, I’m fairly certain, and I have the beginnings of an idea brewing. However, I feel bad since my last Nano project was nearly abandoned once November was over. That’s not good 😦 If I decide to not actually do Nano, I may do something where I finish up last year’s project, which could fit it nicely with step 3.