Month: May 2014

May, we hardly knew you.

/ Alex Whitehall / Leave a comment

May’s goals
1. Finish 1st reads on BAW. Maybe start developing things.
2. Finish current 2 knitting projects.

Okay. Yeah. So May was…something else.

1. I haven’t touched BAW edits since the end of April. Part of it is adjusting to the new job and trying to step away from work-ish things in my free time, part of it is the writing I’ve been doing, part of it is being at the barn. But most of it is just keeping away from work-ish things. Also, I’m a little intimidated to finish edits, because then the hard work begins…

2. I finished both knitting projects (both scarves), and have begun (because reading Amy Lane’s Blackbird Knitting in a Bunny’s Lair inspired me) to put together a mitered square blanket. So I’m taking all my scrap yarn and all the cheap acrylic stuff I gathered over the last few years, and I’m mitering it up into a blanket. Some of the colors are very bright (like rainbow yarn and orange creamcicle) so I have to do each one separate so I can lay them all out and organize it not to look hideous. I also have no idea how many each partial ball/skein will make, so I’m just going along with it.

And now…

June’s goals

1. Finish BAW (edits and at least start fleshing out the ending).

Just one goal this month. First off, summers are busy, I’m dealing with the new job, and this is one task that I’d really like to get done so I can move on.

My friend uses this reward system where she has things she wants to buy and things she wants/needs to get done and can only buy things when she completes the task. I’ve done it before and it worked out pretty well.

I made up a list of BIG things I want to buy. Unfortunately, the task list is currently empty. Most, if not all, the items on the list are too pricey to be equal to completing my monthly goals, so maybe that’s the problem. But we’ll see. Maybe I need to put “Write 50,000 words in _____ novel.”

Coming Out

/ Alex Whitehall / 2 Comments

So despite the fact that I work for an LGBT publisher, most of my friends are on the LGBT spectrum, and I’ve taught my mom things about the LGBT community and identity, I’ve never been out to my parents.

Part of this is because I feel that coming out shouldn’t be a thing I have to do. No one should. We shouldn’t assume anything about anybody. Not really. Part of my not coming out was worry about how my father would take it. And part of it is just the flexibility that my identity encompasses. Coming out seems like trying to put my identity in a picture frame, when it reality it’s more like a lava lamp.

But on Mothers’ Day, my mom and I were chatting and she asked, “Are you gay?”

And I answered, “Yes. Sorta. It’s complicated. But yes, I’m on the LGBT spectrum.”

Because explaining that currently I’m probably identifying as gray-asexual, panromantic, genderqueer is complicated.

We talked a little about why she suspected and she asked if I was okay with it. (She’s a guidance counselor and knows depression can be a problem among LGBT youths. I explained that since I had my own financial support and great friends, I was okay. Plus, my brother would totally side with me if my parents had disowned me.) I didn’t stress that my depression had nothing to do with being LGBT.

And then she asked why I didn’t tell her. And I asked if my brother had come out to her as straight. No, of course not. And I asked why it was any different. Just because it’s not the ‘norm’ doesn’t mean I should have to announce it. Do I have to come out about liking that Finnish band I dig? That’s not common either. Or hating scrapple and growing up Pennsylvania Dutch. That’s outside the norm.

If we stop making assumptions about people, then we can find out when the time is right. Because otherwise in college I would have told them I’m bisexual. And then tweaked that description. And then again. Because I’m still finding myself.

Also, until it is involved in their lives, I’m not sure why it really matters. I don’t tell them about kink stuff, do I?

Yeah, pretty sure they don’t want to hear that. 😀

So my mom (and I assume she told my dad) know I’m on the LGBT spectrum.

And ten minutes later she asked why I don’t shave my legs. I replied, “Why doesn’t Dad shave his legs?”

I’m not sure she’s quite caught on. But it’s a step.

May already?

/ Alex Whitehall / Leave a comment

April’s goals
1. Do light edits/clean up 2 shorter stories and find beta readers to see if they are worth seeing the light of day.
2. Work on BAW, which I just printed out. That’s kind of a monster of a task, since I need to write the end and reevaluate the whole thing. Cue weeping.
3. Get out to the barn more and actually get on a horse. For the first time in nearly 2 years.


Okay.

1. I only got to one, but it needed a lot more text added, so I think that counts. And it can’t go to a beta because I want to do another read since I added so much. I think that was pretty solidly done.

2. I’m a little over halfway done my read on this. It definitely needs a lot of work, so this will be ongoing, but I made fairly good progress. Not as much as I would have liked, but progress.

3. Did it. Yay! Unfortunately there is going to be a hiccup in my insurance coverage soon, so that may interfere with more riding for a bit.

May’s goals

1. Finish 1st reads on BAW. Maybe start developing things.

2. Finish current 2 knitting projects.

I have a lot going on in my personal life right now (job change, mainly), so that’s all I’m aiming for in May. Knitting has been a good relaxant for me, although I wasn’t really using it much. I feel like I want to do more, but things are so out of sorts right now that pushing more seems like I’d be pushing myself for failure. I’m feeling rather tenuous as is, so let’s leave it at that.