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After a nap, lunch and a chocolate bar, I saw down with the notes I’d taken about what my beta readers thought I should revise in my novel CL. I knew I had major work to do, since I’d obviously already read through the recommendations and written them down. I’d begun a little brainstorming and thought I had some possible resolutions to some of the problems.

However, as I sat down today to begin what promises to be a long process, I paused, looked at my notes, looked at my story document, looked back to my notes and referenced my mental solutions to the problem.

Well, shit, I said to myself. I should just rewrite the damn thing.

Not the most encouraging thought. I put aside my notes, minimized the novel document and poked around twitter and email for a little, did some browsing on programs to help authors organize novels (and came across Storybook, which I haven’t used yet, but is free and could be promising). After I stalled enough, I went back to my story and my notes.

Okay, some parts can be saved. Maybe I’m deluding myself, but I think the last half of the novel is better, mostly because it’s told in an active voice instead of trying to cover 5 years in under 40,000 words. So, maybe it’s not better, it’s just more What It Should Be, although I’m not certain about the plot part of that.

Of course, I’m still in the position where half my novel needs to be rewritten and instead of doing that (by the deadline of Nov. 1, no less), I just want to throw my hands in the air and say, “I quit. This one won’t be made into a book, fuck it!”

Which is quickly followed by considering how disappointed my brother would be in me and, honestly, how disappointed I’d be in myself. And I don’t want to abandon this work. I feel like it has potential. I love Coren (Royce, even though he’s the main character, is not my favorite…somehow). I like the world it resides in, although I now see that the world in my head is not the one I put onto paper (another major rewrite).

So what am I going to do?

Honestly, I don’t know yet. It won’t get abandoned into the ether. It won’t get tossed in the garbage. It won’t be submitted as is, that’s for certain. The question remains, then, is how much editing am I going to do to it? Am I going to hobble together the good pieces, rework and add what needs to be done and then see how it turns out, OR am I going to open a new blank document and start over? I can’t imagine doing the latter, although writing that much in 4 months isn’t impossible, just terrifying.

Mostly I just needed to write this down—to face my demons, so to speak—before coming to a decision. I hope to make an update tomorrow on where CL is headed.

So after some conversations with friends and family and the (far) looming date of Nanowrimo, I’ve made some decisions and deadlines.

First I need to finish the current story I’m working on (and not get immediately distracted by another). I’ve no idea how long that’s going to take, but hopefully not all summer 🙂

After I finish that story, I’m going to work on CL, because it’s long overdue. My plan is to get it finished before November. Finished enough to be submitted somewhere, now that I know more about the major works that need to be done to it.

And that’ll leave November open to writing 50,000 words on a new story.

So…that’s that.

Good luck!

ETA: I forgot to mention that I’m going to take a month–at some point–to only read non-romance novels. Depending on how it goes will determine if I continue it (and slowly re-include romance novels) or just admit to myself that I’ll be reading fluff for the rest of my days :). I’m compiling a list, so we’ll see how that goes.

Update on my novel:

As you may recall, the end of February is supposed to mark the completion of my edits and the beginning of preparations to send it off for publication. While I am sticking to this, I am also warning that I’m permitting slight flexibility because of my recent computer problems. I still hope to finish by the end of February, but I’ll be giving myself a day or two flex because of January’s unforeseen events.

I’m currently on page 20 of 158. Some days get more editing done than others, and some days I’m tempted to trash the whole thing. It’s very frustrating at the moment. In addition, I’ll be rebuilding my desktop computer from the ground up, which is loads of fun. So looking forward to it.

Also, I’d love to have people who’d be willing to read through it and tell me (mostly plot wise) if things are good (or should I just give up [not that I’ll listen to that, necessarily]). Drop me a message if you’re interested. I won’t be upset if you start reading and don’t finish, especially if it’s that bad, or in revenge for me doing something similar to you (just tell me which).