They put my dog to sleep tonight. Her name was Samantha (and Sam and Sammy and Sam-Dog) and she was an old dog who lived a good life. I cried when I found out.

I thought about her soft eyes, and how we’d sit together when it would thunder, both of us trembling.

I remembered her as a puppy, teaching her commands, and I remember her as an old dog, struggling to stand. I know it’s for the best, and she’s out of pain.

I do not cry because I’m sad. I cry because I’m happy she doesn’t hurt, and she had a good life (I’d like to think).

And I regret those times I yelled at her, and that I smacked her with the paper when she wouldn’t be put to bed.

And I think about how we’d go on walks around the yard, and I’d sit there and she’d walk around me. And how she never minded being apart of the story I was thinking of at that moment. How in her time she was a wolf, a loyal hound, the last of her kind, and a familiar.

How for a few years I called her the African word for “three” because of the spots on her chest, of which there were three..although I can no longer remember the word.

I’m sorry that I have no pictures of her on my computer. Most of the ones I took of her were when she was younger and it wasn’t with a digital camera.

And she had an extra toe.

I’m out of tears now, though not really, I just think this is enough, for now, for tonight.

I just realized that, at least lately, most of my stories have involved rain (except the last two, but they are…different).

No real reason for stating this, just slight amazement at my part, and hopefully less rain in future stories.

Listen to what I’m hearing

I find this song to be very moving. For those who didn’t click, it’s Voltaire’s “Crusade.” Most of the songs I’ve heard of his tend to be funny, or at least upbeat in nature (even if it’s because it’s mocking what could possibly be a serious topic). However, this song is pretty dark and I think pretty damn timely (though, when won’t it be timely, since this age old battle has gone on for so long?) Even those songs that have darker sounds aren’t necessarily, I dunno, as powerful as I find “Crusade.”

Not sure why I really wrote this. Perhaps I was avoiding the research I was doing for my story. Maybe I just felt moved.

I’ve had a very good several days, and have been busy enough to not have time to post.

It started with Wednesday. Although it required a stressful drive into (and later out of) the city, I went to see Neil Gaiman give a reading and Q&A. It was absolutely amazing. He’s a very laid back, down to earth person, and is really someone to admire.

Even though I got home by 9, when I woke up the next morning I had no desire to go to work, so called off. I got everything done around the house that I planned to and headed to the barn, where I got to ride two different horses. It was a lovely day, and lots of fun. Plus, I found out one of my barnmates likes Neil Gaiman. To say the least, I was stoked.

Friday, although sore from the previous day’s rides, wasn’t bad, nothing exciting at work or anything. My friends came over, we had chinese and watched anime (Simoun and Death Note). AKA, normal geek things.

This morning, after grocery shopping, I slugged in bed for far longer than normal. Then, when I finally woke up, I went shopping for some Halloween stuff. I stopped at Ollie’s first, thinking of getting a new shower curtain, but eventually decided against it. However, in my browsing, I found they had restocked the shelves that I had previously purchased there that I loved, and so I was able to buy two more sets (though, it wasn’t really financially responsible:). Plus I found pants for halloween and the color yarn I wanted.

Now I’m building the bookshelves and re-arranging my books so they are more organized and accessible.

how often do you actually get everything on a ‘to do’ list done?

my list today:

Shop.
Air Gear.
Crochet a winter hat.
Dishes.

And I did it all!!!! Go me!

The ALA has posted their list of books most frequently challenged in 2007.

No. 1 on the list?

And Tango Makes Three. The Reasons? Anti-Ethnic, Sexism, Homosexuality, Anti-Family, Religious Viewpoint, Unsuited to Age Group.

For those who are unfamiliar, this is the (based on a true) story of two male penguins who partnered and were really bummed about not having an egg to care for (I believe they kept using a rock in place of an egg, but don’t quote me on that). So the zookeepers took an egg that was either abandoned by its parents or something happen to the parents, and the egg was successfully cared for and hatched by these two male penguins.

So, obviously homosexual in nature (gotta turn ’em young!), I’m not sure how sexism works, as I haven’t read the story, but maybe a lack of females? Obviously because it’s homosexual it has a problem with religion, and those nuts would then think it’s unsuited to the age group (because God-forbid children learn a true story about gay penguins).*

But is it anti-family because the family that was created is not “mom, dad, two kids, a dog, a cat and a fish”? It would seem very pro-family and pro-adoption. But I guess anything that doesn’t fit into our norm must be against our norm. Silly me. And I can’t even fathom how it’s “anti-ethnic.” It’s about penguins…maybe because there is only one species present? Should there be some Polar Bears too?

No. 5 on the list is the ever-popular The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Reasons: Racism. I know that this is a popular one to list, but c’mon. I figured by this day and age everyone had realized that he was anti-racism. People are morons.

The Golden Compass made it onto the list this year, I’m guessing due to the movie, and obviously for “religious viewpoint.” Which just means “we don’t agree with it.” I’m curious who has the time to write in to the ALA because they disagree with what a book says. I think I want to get a group together and we’ll start complaining about what the bible says. Do you think I could get it on the list of most-complained about?

The Perks of Being A Wallflower also made the list for homosexuality, sexual explicit, and inappropriate for age. I’m hoping the first isn’t completely related to the last, but I’m sure it effects it a little. I’m fairly certain other reasons (which would spoil the ending) are involved.

One last book, It’s Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris. I’m not familiar with this book, but the reasons it was complained about amused me: Sex Education, Sexually Explicit. “Sex education”? That’s the best reason ever! “Dear ALA, this book is educational. But about sex! How dare they!” This is what Publishers Weekly said about the book: “this intelligent, amiable and carefully researched book… frankly explains the physical, psychological, emotional and social changes that occur during puberty.” Emberley’s watercolor and pencil art “reinforces [the] message that bodies come in all sizes, shapes and colors-and that each variation is `perfectly normal.’ ” Ages 10-14.

That’s a horror if I ever saw one.

Anyways, this just makes me want to do more to piss people off. Y’know, I almost want to write a book that makes it onto the list. That’s pretty good advertising, isn’t it?

*If homosexuality is a psychological condition (according to some nut-jobs, not the APA), then would these penguins need counseling?