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Pretty good for a Monday

/ Alex Whitehall / Leave a comment

I started this morning filled with dread and an overall feeling of wanting to die, which is pretty extreme, even for me.

But the day went well enough–possibly fate’s way of saying “hold on.”

Now at home: I’m eating a bean and cheese quesadilla. Mushed pinto beans and a cheese blend (Monterrey and pepper jack, I believe, or something similar) fried in a pan makes for some yummy dinner. And pretty healthy too.

I just read that The Graveyard Book won the 2009 Newbery, which is awesome. Go Neil! It makes me happy that I have a signed copy and read it (in a day, at that). That man is great. An excellent writer/storyteller and a nice, down to earth, funny human being (I’m assuming on this last one, he could very well be an alien).

Last week, which was pretty awefully blah for me, provoked very little writing. This morning, which was horrified and painful, gave me some poems. I’m hoping it’s a sign that the writing block has stopped. It didn’t really matter, since I’ll be writing tonight–whether it’s good or bad.

Tired of this darkness

/ Alex Whitehall / Leave a comment

I woke up yesterday from 8 hours of sleep and was tired.

“Well,” I thought, “It’s snowing and dark and Monday, it’s to be expected.”

My energy picked up once I was home from work and all was well.

I woke up this morning from 8 hours of sleep and am tired.

It’s still dark, no longer snowing, and no longer Monday. I have my tea (and a twang of pain in my throat). And I remember, “Yes, this is the darkness of Winter that makes me want to call out of work every day of the week.”

It also makes me want to sleep ungodly amounts. If it wouldn’t make me feel lazy as sin (and probably make me wake up at 4 am), I would absolutely come home from work and sleep. I wonder how long I could sleep if my body weren’t on a schedule.

I think I need to do some more meditations. My body is in that restless state again. Freaking out. The war is going to start soon. I don’t know if I’m ready.

Amusing…

/ Alex Whitehall / Leave a comment

First off, I just finished looking at GoodReads and under “popular books” it listed the 4 twilight books, to kill a mocking bird, and then all the Harry Potter books. I was highly amused. If you enjoy books, you should sign up. It’s nice getting reviews of what friends have read to see if you want to read it too.

Secondly, I’ve been spreading my web comic reading wings. Mows is mildly entertaining. Kind of like a weekly comic strip (or daily) that you’d find in a newspaper. Not funny every day, but it has it’s moments. A Softer World is very “Indy” I think. It’s very funny at times, just plain weird other times, and then disturbing and dark. I enjoy it. I enjoy it enough that I took some strips to make my computer’s wallpaper. After all, where else can you read, “When I play doctor….I play to win.”

I think this image is beautiful. It’s by LadySybile on deviantArt:

That’s about it for now. Things are okay.

-insert good idea here-

/ Alex Whitehall / Leave a comment

It’s really, really cold. And snowing. My hip hurts and even though I got plenty of sleep I’m still tired.

-insert whining here-

I really wasn’t expecting snow today. It’s January though, so I suppose I should always be expecting snow now.

Hmm, I’m not exactly sure how to get from point Q to R in my story.

That’s it for now.

Journey to the Other World

/ Alex Whitehall / Leave a comment

So today I went to the PA Farm Show with my 4-H club. It was a pretty good time, though I spent more than I meant and it was exhausting. It was strange being surrounded by so much farm-related stuff, and it really made me think how I am a diamond, or any jewel, with many facets. Some people are single-minded, focused on a few things, normally somewhat related. I am not one of them 🙂

Anyways, got home at 7 and was pretty tired. Checked online and then thought, “7:30, should I write or read, or waste time clicking?”

I thought I’d be too tired to write, but I did. It felt really good. I hope one day I get over this terror that everything I write is crap. Because I was thinking that yesterday and it really seized up the desire to write–since it all was crap–but last night I tried thinking further into the story and today I did more thinking about it and then some of it got written (and I love when you’re writing events that need to happen and little things happen with characters that were just kind of tucked in the corner and it’s like “oh!”). I feel a little better now about writing, though no more secure in the thought that my writing is good.

And now it’s nearly 9.

Amazingly enough?

/ Alex Whitehall / Leave a comment

In a weird twist of fate, my period arrived early. A week early. I don’t know if it’s because I was sick earlier, or it decided to start the new year off with a bang, but it was very odd.

In other news, one of my christmas presents got “wrapped” without one of the presents inside. Whoops. It’s one of those moments where you’re like “should I redo it or should I just give it separately?” Separately it is.

My eye is all puffy like an alien race has laid it’s eggs in my eye lid. That’s so sexy.

I love Fridays. Not only does it mean two days without work, it means jeans and sweatshirts are okay. And when you’re on the first day of your period, that’s kinda nice.

My posts here have been kind of…okay, VERY random as of late, mostly rambling, because I’m very excited about something and I can’t talk about it, or I really try to minimalize my talking about it, and so I want to talk and thus here I am, talking about anything BUT the one thing I’d love to go on and on about.

I think I did enough ranting yesterday to my friend that I’m back to being happy with the world. Well, as happy as you can be when so many horrible things are happening. Oye….

My clicking just got out of hand. I’m so obsessive about checking web sites that in the middle of this post I clicked away from it. I forgot to open a new window. Haha. Thankfully the site automatically saves. ❤

I’m gonna go get my lunch and whatever ready now.

Strange, isn’t it?

/ Alex Whitehall / Leave a comment

January 7th already.

time is all woobley wobbley.

I feel weird right now. I don’t know if it’s because of everything I’ve been thinking about or the brownies I ate O.O

I seriously need to not be as high-strung as I am.

I’m also pretty sure I’m in love with several of my characters.

Blogging at work

/ Alex Whitehall / Leave a comment

I’m incredibly restless today, and hungry. I have this emptiness inside and I feel hungry. I don’t even think it’s all emotional eating. Just hunger. Maybe it’s the cold, maybe it’s the rain. Maybe I’m about to have my period. I don’t know, just hungry.

I’m at an inbetween place, which I suppose is fitting since it’s Wednesday, an inbetween day of the week. And right now it’s an inbetween part of the day. It doesn’t really worry me, but makes me a bit restless and yet unmotivated. I suppose when I go home tonight I shall have to do something productive or useful and maybe it will jumpstart my anima again.

I realized I haven’t eaten my corn yet and it makes me want to eat corn very badly. It’s an odd desire, to want to heat corn, and I think that the corn won’t live up to my desire to eat it, but that’s okay, because least I’ll be gorging on corn. It’s better than the pretzels I’m currently eating.

I have to remember to breathe, because it doesn’t help my restlessness if I forget. At least deep breaths can help the hour pass, even if the feeling only subsides a little. A deep breath, because really it’s okay. A deep breath, because rushing won’t help anything. A deep breath, because things will happen eventually. A deep breath, because patience will make it easier.

And as easy as that–or perhaps it’s just the feeling of typing–I want to write again. I haven’t a clue what I want to write, but if I start doing it, I may find that the topic comes easier. Perhaps I should work on my project. (Which one, you ask, since I flitter through projects so often. Well, I shant tell you.)

I dislike the rain more than I dislike the cool air, because I can bundle up against the cold, but I never think to use an umbrella. I like talking walks during my lunch, it clears my head and helps me feel less like a bum with a numb bum.

It’s one of those days that you could just lock the door and snuggle back into bed.

The rain is falling hard.

…That sounds like the beginning of something.

Uhg

/ Alex Whitehall / Leave a comment

So what was I doing from 12pm – 4 am? it wasn’t sleeping, let me tell you that. From 10-12 I slept, and then WHAM awake (maybe from thirst?) I drink something and my stomach is all “gurgle?” so tha tkeeps me up for an hour or two, and then I’m wide awake and can’t sleep and restless and my brain is on overtime.

Which means this BEAUTIFUL day that I was supposed to ride during, is wasted because I need sleep.

F.ck