My friend hooked me up with another Pansy Division CD and I watched their documentary yesterday. Of course today I’m sitting at home listening to it and reading Queer YA Lit and feeling very single.
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As Least the Cat’s Not on Fire
Whoosh.
That’s the sound of the beginning of the new year.
My long vacation was wonderful and busy and yet I don’t feel like I got a thing done. No regrets though. None that I can think off, at least. I recently made a tea order through Adagio which has supplied me with plenty of tea: a black called Golden Spring; about 8 chai mixes; 4 green teas; 1 white; and one based on my zodiac (Virgo) which is flowery but doesn’t seem as bad as straight chamomile to me. I also got a new infuser with a mug. Perhaps I’ll begin testing now *goes to make tea*. I just realized the infuser doesn’t have holes on the bottom so about a quarter of inch of water remains in it. Do people think when they made these things?
The music I’ve been waiting a month or so for hasn’t arrived yet. If it’s not at my parents’ place by Saturday then we’ll be contacting the seller. I don’t think it’s his fault or anything, and maybe we’re just being extra anxious cause we’ve already waited so long. It’s making me a little crazy.
I took two books out of the library for reading over my vacation (as if I needed more books). The first I started on vacation, Thinking Straight and finished on Tuesday. Maybe I’ll do a write up on my other blog. I just started the second book, Leave Myself Behind on Wednesday and I’m probably 2/3 the way done, maybe a little less. Definitely over half. It’s an easy read and it’s interesting. They are due back on Tuesday, so I need to be done by then anyways.
I may be getting sick, or I may just be tired and have slight sniffles. Aside from visiting with friends I’m relaxing this weekend, so hopefully I will nip whatever it is in the butt.
Any deep thoughts have been replaced by exhaustion, so maybe later.
The Solstice Post
Every solstice, the longest, darkest night of the year, I take the time to write out those who have brought light into my life, a light for which I’m thankful and without which my existence would be a bit darker. If you are not on this list, it does not mean you are not precious to me; you may have made other years. I am only human, and these are who I’ve remembered. I hope you take these as they are meant to be and no one takes offense.
Tracy – You yourself are a wonderful person and a good friend. You make work enjoyable and fun (or as fun as it can be) while we all work hard. If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t know Amanda, Betsy or Kristen. Heck, if it weren’t for you I’d probably be miserable at work and not really talk to anyone. Thanks.
Bryan – Thank you for being such a great brother. I love the time we spend together, drinking tea, discussing writing and reading, and just having fun. You willingly feed the intellectual in me and encourage me to continue thinking (and think about things I normally wouldn’t think about).
Kristen – It’s always great to make new friends, but I’ve been especially lucky in befriending you, who have so many similar interests and have melded so well with my other friends. I look forward to the future years where we’ll continue to explore our friendship!
To all my friends – I don’t think I need to name you all individually, because you’ve all been there for me, keeping me from hiding away in my own little world and helping me stay social. There have been days I’d rather do nothing more than go home and write (or read) but those Fridays I make the trip and I always leave glad that I came.
Sara – Through rain, through fog, through sleet and snow: For serious! You’re as crazy as me. I’m glad I have someone my age (and mindset) to spend those days riding out and about the countryside (what we have left). We always have something to discuss and chat about, whether deep discussions about the books we’re reading or gossip about what’s happening at work,it doesn’t matter, we have a great time and I look forward to our future rides (although so many of them are going to be cold).
Jim – You put up a lot with me and my psuedo-crazy personality and I’m glad you give us the freedom we have, or else work would be depressing and repressing. You know we can handle our workload and work always comes first, but sometimes we have to get a little off task in order to focus down the road. I might not always be able to bear your leadership style, but I’m grateful that you are my boss.
Jeannie – One word, really: Nanowrimo. You helped feed my competitive spirit and kept me from slacking and not keeping my word count or my story going. Thanks to you, I have 50,000 words that still need to be completed and made into something that could be called a book.
Kevin – For listening all the time, annoying me half the time, and laughing with me half the time. For keeping us in touch, because I know I tend to vanish into myself. Oh, and for Pansy Division.
I can only hope I’ve brought a little bit of cheer to your lives as well.
A snowy Saturday
The snow is falling rather thickly on the ground and from the skies, clinging with light touches to wool and cloth, but brushing easily from streets and sidewalks. It’s cold, but it’s the cold of snow, which means it doesn’t bite at your skin, but curl around you with a smile, chilling you without you knowing you’re cold.
As much as I hate digging out my car, dealing with snow at the barn, and driving in the stuff, I love when it snows. It’s beautiful, pristine and cold. It makes me happy, alive and warm.
Since my plans were impeded upon (who wants to drive in this stuff?), I instead decided to walk to nearby shops (1.5 miles each way) where I found a nice gray sweater that I may wear for the holidays. Then I picked up some sushi rolls at the grocery store, some wine at the store, and walked home. I drew a giant smiley face in someone’s driveway. I hope it brings a smile to their face.
I think I may bake some lemon cookies tonight. Mmmm, nothing like baking cookies on a snowy winter night.
Because I haven’t updated in a while.
I sort of wish I could say, when asked why I haven’t updated in a while, that I’ve been very busy and productive with such and such. I suppose I could, but it’d be a lie, and I was told that was wrong. Mostly.
My time is spent doing a few things (work, riding/barn, hanging out with friends, writing, reading). None of these are new. Most of my time is spent reading stories online while less time is spent writing, a fact I’d like to change but haven’t yet found the motivation to do. Plus my space heater is here and it’s warm, while the couch (which has blankets that are also warm) is way over there and will require at least a few minutes of brrr. This is a lame excuse because I was having similar problems before it got cold(er).
My most productive thing lately was transplanting a baby aloe plant into its own pot and naming him Cornwall. He seems to be doing okay, though I worry about him in the cold. He’s still green and I talk to him sometimes, so hopefully he’ll get big and strong like his mother.
I have 11 days off in the near future and I’m hoping I’m incredibly productive and yet relaxed. I get the feeling I will do more reading than I plan, less writing than I want, and get less sleep than I should. If I don’t see you, Happy Holidays.
Oh wait, I’ll post on Monday for the Solstice, so until then…
This gave me a laugh
Because someone mentioned The Onion I decided to see what was new. I came across this. I love Fridays.
From under rocks
I know I’ve been missing, it’s been for a good reason.
As you may have heard, I was doing Nanowrimo. I wrote 50,000 words during the month of November without becoming a complete hermit. I’m actually 400 over. The novel isn’t done yet, but I do plan on finishing it. I’m torn between posting it somewhere on the internets and trying to get it published. I’m not wild about the story, but we’ll see.
Now that I’m back in the real world, I’ve been reading. Nothing of what I should be reading (and editing) but reading like a drowning man begging for air. I stayed up REALLY late sunday night reading. Thankfully I’m fully functional on 4 hours of sleep. However, I get really cranky the second day when I get 8 hours of sleep but it’s really weirdly scheduled. So I’m hoping to go to bed at a somewhat reasonable hour, ignoring that I’m posting on my blog when I should be curling into bed. Least I’m not hunting down something to read.
The holidays were uneventful and I’m hoping the coming holidays will be just as uneventful. Life is kind of undramatic, and I like it that way. I wonder if a person can be too laid back for her own good sometimes, but then I realize I shouldn’t worry about it. I hope that gives you a chuckle. I’ve been shopping up a storm for holiday exchanges, and it’s rather pleasant, shopping for people. It always gives me a warm cuddly feeling inside to buy things for other people. Maybe it’s the rush of spending money, but I’d like to think it’s something more.
On an unrelated note: I’ve fallen in love with a band (and some of my friends may kill me upon reading this, being quite sick of hearing about it) called Pansy Division. I’d direct you to YouTube, but it’s not really the best selection. They’re classified as Queer Punk or Queer Rock I think (with a group of mostly openly gay members), and are very blunt with their lyrics. It’s refreshing and fun, also emotional, social commentary, and things to make you ponder, just a bit. I fell in love almost immediately and am still waiting for my mass order of CDs to arrive.
There are so many wonderful things in the world that we will never experience. There are so many wonderful things in life that we do.
in which my hand hurts
Because I’m tired of reading (or at least starting new stories), and not focused for writing (and I’m caught up on nano) I decided a nice post would be good…plus it helped me realize that with my hand wrapped I can’t really type…so no writing tonight. Just this..which is writing but not as much and I can always delete it if I change my mind without feeling guilty…I just found out if I don’t use my pinky then I can almost type normal…go me!!
Life is same old, thus the lack of updates. I hurt my hand at the barn (knuckles this time instead of wrist) and thus it’s wrapped and impeding my typing. Nano is on par, but it’s only 10 days in. Talk to me after 20. I’m happy with it so far, and the good stuff hasn’t happened, so yay?
I just realized I have nothing to write about. I could write about the person I have a crush on who I don’t think I can admit to, but that just sounds emo and I’m kinda cool with waiting and just being friends to see if this feeling continues. And nano has kinda distracted me from that.
I could talk about how the Holidays are approaching way too fast. But most people always feel that way, so nothing new.
I could write about the cake I’m going to hopefully bake for Friday. But that’s a secret. Pictures to come 😀
so nothing new. and yet..I’m pretty content. Go fig.
ps. why is one of my labels “ram”? When the heck did I use that as a label??
A series of thoughts
I know I tend to avoid politics and most things related to it with a plague-like vengeance. But here is a post about something political. However, to ease you into, first two comments: I had two gift cards, so I swung by B&N and picked up Wicked and Son of a Witch and then hopped over to Maggie Moo’s and bought some ice cream (because who doesn’t like ice cream when it’s 43 degrees out?).
Onto the politics. I received a news blurb sometime last week to this: The Abstinence Lobby’s Lone Wolf. It seems one man (by the name of Raymond Ruddy) has paid a lobbyist $130,000 of his own money in order to lobby for abstinence-only education.
From the article:
The lone wolf strategy appears to be is paying off — so far, anyway. In late September, the Senate Finance Committee approved an amendment to its health care bill from Utah Republican Orrin Hatch that would reinstate $50 million in annual funding to abstinence-only programs. Earlier this year, President Obama removed funding for the programs from his budget. Several studies have found that abstinence-only sex education programs, which teach abstinence but not birth control or other safe sex practices, are ineffective.
The committee approved the overall bill, which makes me wonder if they saw this little funding bit or if it got lost among the clutter. Either way it frustrates me that something so monumentally stupid is still being pushed, even if it is just by one man, because that one man (and his lobby) are still having influence.
I don’t have deep thoughts about this particularly, just a general anger, and I needed to share.
Too busy with life to bother
Everytime I post here I seem to complain about how busy I am. Well it’s true, but it doesn’t mean I should complain. I enjoy being busy and often find things to do when I’m not busy in order to keep busy. It’s my personality and while it’s exhausting (both for me and those I spend my time with), it keeps me sane. Or has thus far.
This weekend was T’s wedding and it was quite lovely and the reception was grand. It was personal and enjoyable. I hope she’s enjoying her honeymoon. Otherwise I spent alot of money on things I’ve wanted to spend money on, so it was both good and bad. I finally bought the final parts of Soba’s birthday present, got something to play my ipod in my car, and a footlong at Subway, which has just been too long.
My computer has been acting very virus-y lately, but I hopefully got the kinks worked out. I think the rest of tonight will be burning a backup of my computer, just incase. That was just unneeded stress this week/weekend. But it could be worse.
Side Note: While at a bookstore today I saw a book “The spirituality of atheism” or something similarly titled. I glanced through the book and it got me thinking: Can atheists have spiritualism? If going by the definition (which according to MW is: “one who believes that there is no deity”), then yes. But I think the connotation is such that atheists tend to not believe in anything beyond the natural world, at least in most cases. I guess this comes around (at least in my experience) because of what people are exposed to. People tend to think of spirituality as being related to religion, which normally translates to Islam, Judiasm, Christianity. But it obviously does not have to be exclusive, since I am spiritual but have no interest in religion, and really not even interest in pinpointing that there is one god.
So I guess, in a definition standard, I’m atheist. I don’t think I’ll be spreading this new found knowledge around. When it comes up, I tend to just tell people I’m Non-Christian, which is normally enough. If they really want to get into the specifics I’ll tell them, but I’m not normally comfortable talking about my spirituality, because people tend to make assumptions. One day I’ll write up a piece about it. Maybe I’ll make hand outs. Hah.
So what are you? Why do we feel the need to label things? Why do we feel the need to fit inside those labels?
Does any one actually fit into those labels? I mean, I know none of us represent them completely, but I feel like I never fit into any of them, or, if I do, really small groups. Like the people who like peas but only if they are in mashed potatoes made with milk, butter and salt. That’s not the only way I like peas, merely an example. Cause, forbid I actually use a personal example.
when no one's looking 