The Wind of Winds

Sweet Saturday, thy name is pleasure.

Okay, I may be over dramatizing a bit! But weekends are wonderful. This morning I went to the barn and rode, which was windy but fun, since my horse is only slightly lame and hopefully will heal without any care, just time off. Then home for shower and food and off to the store to buy dice (a lot of dice. 260. don’t ask.) and cards (because I’d like to start playing Contract Rummy and Hand&Foot again. so I needed decks of cards). Also, while I was out I found this:

Which is odd, I’ll give you that. They are candy snakes. Lollipops from what I gathered. My one friend loves snakes, so…I had to. 😀

I also picked up the game Apples to Apples, which was mucho fun when I played it at group and I’ll be bringing it to my brother’s birthday party. Plus the game that we played a year ago where we all insulted said brother having birthday. I wonder which one he’ll want to play….

I actually have the next step of one of my stories sort of worked out in my head, which makes me feel better. I also have a vague plan of doing a serial story like writers used to do in newspapers. Part of me wants to do it just to do it, part of me sees it as a challenge, part of me thinks it would get some sh*t done.

In totally unrelated, not getting sh*t done news, I read two “comics” which I wanted to share, although most my people know about them. One is XKCD, an example of this is:
They are uber geek.

The other is A Softer World, which is like this:

They are kinda indie.

Both make me feel smart. Both make me feel stupid. And I enjoy both experiences!

A side note (also, congrats if you made it down this far), I’m considering not getting cable TV anymore. I don’t watch loads of TV, and it would be best not to have that temptation anyways, right? Plus I’d save $20 a month, which isn’t really a lot (which is why I question dropping TV). Err, I’m still debating this one, but I guess input would be appreciated.

On Rain and It’s Ickiness

It can stop all this raining any time now.

I know it’s April, and I know the old children’s rhyme, but it’s really cramping my go-outside-and-ride ability. Not only is riding outside in the rain normally a no-no (due to destruction of leather), but it makes the ground shit to ride on. But I suppose it needs to get it out of it’s system. Maybe I’m just grumpy because I think it’s making my horse lame.

BTW, for those of you who didn’t know about it, Google Reader is amazing. It lets you watch everything that gets updated on a regular or semi-regular basis, like blogs, comics, and anything with an RSS feed. It has cut down on my morning clicks by a large amount, I assure you.

I moved to the second level of the 30-day Shred. 20 minutes of planks, is really what it amounts to. Frogger Planks, Jumping Jack Planks, Side-to-Side Planks. However, since I’d like to beef up my upper body, this will have positive results. Assuming I don’t die.

I’ve been feeling especially unfocused and restless lately. I’m sure you’re tired of hearing how unfocused and restless I am. I swear I’m not that way all the time. There’s just so many interesting things in the world. And while that means I get easily distracted/provoked, it also means when I do things, I wonder how it will compare to all the other wonders. I know I shouldn’t, it should be about me, making me happy, doing what’s best–or at least my best. But still frustrating.

The buckets are still raining down, but it should be nice for my brother’s birthday. Warm and sunny if the forecast says. But all this rain means riding tomorrow will be limited or nonexistent. But no chicken counting. I’ve continued ready Education of Little Tree because I was looking at another book and realized that I should finish at least one of the three I’m currently reading first. My next book? I’m not sure–I was looking at taking The Name of the Wind out of the library, but I also have some options of books I recently purchased. I guess we’ll have to see.

This is not a Trick

I’m very happy for Wednesday this week.

Not only was my weekend full of people and doings, but then Monday I was home long enough to cook dinner, but then didn’t return until nearly 11, last night was better, I got home by 7:30 and then cooked something up for a lil party we’re having at work.

The reason for the party? To celebrate my one coworker not getting Mono and having to take off all that time. It’s also April 1st, so it seemed like a good day to do it. The party is limited to the four of us in editorial, but we’ll have yums and drinks and such. Good times all around. I think it’s nice just to break the monotony.

My writing has been unfocused lately and rather bland feeling. I’d rather not talk about it.

Today I don’t have anything outside of my home planned and I’m looking forward to cleaning, exercising and doing some much-needed editing. Yay for Wednesdays!

Where Does Time Go?

Really, I’ve nothing to say.

My exercise schedule improved this week, but yesterday instead of riding (per rain) or working out (per exhaustion) I watched Eight Below and Man in the Iron Mask simultaneously. In my defense, I was rather tired from this week, which involved me not being home most the time. And I had already gone grocery shopping.

I was cat-sitting this week for my friends who were in California, which meant I just stopped by their house twice this week to give the cat love and affection and companionship, while making sure it wasn’t dead. It wasn’t hard, although it was very hairy.

My current reading has stagnated. The Education of Little Tree pretty much stopped because it’s good, but not exciting, and I’m just not motivated for it. However, at a thrift store on Saturday I found a first printing of American Gods by Neil Gaiman (Okay, I’ll admit, this is my SECOND first printing copy…I think) and I started rereading that. Now that I’m taking my good ol’ time with it, I think I can appreciate it more. I really wish I’d done my senior thesis on that instead, but in the end, it doesn’t really matter, does it?

It’s that time of the year when there are no breaks in the future and every day I want to call out and just sleep, do nothing, or go to the barn. And yet I keep going to work, because I’d rather use my days off when it’s REALLY nice and there is lots of sunshine. Today would totally count for that, but even if it hadn’t rained last night, I know we are at least 1 person short at work, and we may be 2, depending if the other person is over her sick. So into work I go.

In other news: I’m no longer craving donuts 🙂

Brilliant!

My new laptop arrived on Wednesday (no, I’m not typing from it now…I actually created a new google account for it, because I segregate that way. I may change my mind later). It’s a Dell 12″ Mini that runs off Ubuntu. I still don’t like the motion pads for the mouse, but I’m getting better at typing without touching it every five seconds, and the screen is small enough that moving around doesn’t bother me too much either. I also have a spare mouse I can use for it, so if I’d want to.

But, the main purpose of it is writing. I have wireless internet with it, so I can log into google docs from pretty much anywhere, which is handy.

When I first started it, it seemed like it was running kinda slow, and I was worried. Today however, it seemed to be running faster, and I played around with it (testing the Messaging service it offers and setting up a google account) and I felt more comfortable with it. And the writing program it has is compatible with docs (one way, at least) so even if I can’t use google docs then I can write in that program.

It’s pretty minimalistic, with about a 40 gig harddrive, 1 meg of ram, it wont’ do anything amazing, but I didn’t get it so it could be sparkly and distracting. I just wanted something that could travel with me so I could write (and maybe surf the internet).

Part of me wishes I didn’t have internet connection with it, because that can be VERY distracting and the opposite of helpful. But on the other hand, it’s nice when you want to come up with a name and you can just go to a name-finding site. So we’ll see. I can’t really take the wifi out of the computer anyways, so I’d just have to exert will power to not use it. (Stop laughing…)

So I’m pretty happy with what I have now. The battery power seems pretty good (I got a 6 cell for that reason), and the only thing I’m not wild about is the case is all smooth and shiney, so every lil smudge shows. But I won’t grudge the small things! ^.^

Hopefully without cursing myself…

I slept wonderfully this weekend. It was very refreshing and I feel much better. Especially with all the cleaning I got done. Productivity always feels good.

Speaking of feeling good, I feel confident in saying: I survived winter.

Normally winter makes me have short emotional fuses, slightly irrational thought patterns and an overall negative view of life (but mostly myself). But this winter, I was able to stave that off, for the most part. I still had my moments, of course, but I felt pretty good all winter. I keep waiting for the depression to hit, but I keep feeling rather happy. It’s nice.

Why was this winter different? I can’t say for certain, but I think there are two main reasons:
1. More riding. Normally my winter riding is once a week, in the ring, if that. This year, I rode once or twice a week out on trails. It was cold, but it was OUT and it was reviving. Each morning you’d ask “why am I doing this” and find out the answer was “because this is living.”
2. More writing. While I always “try” to set a writing schedule up, this year I actually did. And I kept to it. Since November I’ve been writing at least once a week, often more. It’s been nice. And I found when I wrote, even on days I really didn’t want to, I felt good afterwards. Like I was totally awesome or something. Can writing be a drug?

Also, in relation to this post about the action-feeling connection, I also tried harder to not let myself get trapped in negative feelings. Sometimes I caved and just curled up with books or movies or television and wasted my day. Only once did I avoid hanging out with people–and that was just as equally just exhaustion on my part. Most the time (since my moods happen at night) I was able to go to bed and wake up feeling fine the next morning. However, I was also able to stave off many of these moods by forcing myself to be productive and positive. Cleaning (and doing dishes) helps because it doesn’t take talent or skill but has a positive reward at the end with obvious results.

Closing thoughts: Doing your dishes has multiple positive benefits, including having clean dishes.

Sleep deprived and caffeinated

This has been an interesting week.

I had no problems coping with the time change Sunday. And yet, Sunday night I couldn’t fall asleep, and when I did I had the previously mentioned bad dreams and my hours sleeping were not restful.

The rest of the week was fine sleep-wise, but I never recooperated. So yesterday I took a half day and came home for a nap and to relax and rejuvenate. Last night I go to bed…and I’m wide awake. I nap all the time in the afternoon, it really shouldn’t have this effect on me. I stayed awake until 2:30, fell asleep, woke up at 3:30 having had a creepy dream, and then dozed until 6:30. To say the least, my plan backfired.

So now I feel about the same that I did on Monday, except it’s Friday, so more bearable. I’ll get through today, hopefully be exhausted and collapse at a reasonable hour tonight, and maybe my sleep cycle will kick back into gear.

I could really go for a nap right now, or another couple hours of sleep, but instead I’m going to dose up on tea (my zombie brain is saying “caffeine” in the way that zombies do) and hope I don’t over do it. Thankfully I don’t think I have too much to focus hard on at work, so if I get the jitters, I’ll just annoy myself.

Side note: I’m wearing my Carebear shirt to work today, per request. It sorta looks like this (in a broad stylistic not color or image way):

Creativity gone too far

Perhaps it’s time to cut back on the writing, or perhaps I need to write more, I don’t know. Last night I tried to sleep and my brain was buzzing with books I’ve read and stories I’m writing and I couldn’t sleep. When I finally drifted off, my dreams were vivid and fantastical, with invisible monsters stealing souls which were returned by guardians. I’d almost like to write about it, but fear I cannot do the monster justice.

To say the least, I survived today only through the blessing of chocolate and painkillers. Between doing real work, I wrote about wolves and romance and the strange country they meet in. It kept me awake, though I doubt it’ll do much to help me sleep tonight. Need to be competent tomorrow, have a meeting about web content. Motivation is minimal.

Sometimes, when running bare foot and fleeting and alone, you feel graceful.

Finishing

Also of note:

Monday I technically “finished” my first novel. Which just means the plot is supposedly all that. I know I still have loads of work left. But it’s an accomplishment.

I also ordered my new laptop. Mmm, technology

Rant:

In the musical “Avenue Q” there is a song that says, “everyone’s a little bit racist.”

I agree. And I don’t think racism–to a point–is bad. We all make judgment decisions based on how other people look, whether it’s the skin color or their clothing. It’s natural for people to see, judge, and accept or deny that other based on this perception.

Obviously we cannot change the color of our skin (Michael Jackson aside), so it seems unreasonable and wrong to judge someone based on skin color. But it’s a natural part of being human to perceive these things. Obviously a lot (if not all) of the judgments are socially based, but we are social creatures. As a society we strive for homogeneity and if you look different then we will judge as such. If we didn’t have different races, we would segregate by some other means. There will always be lines drawn in the sand.

I’m not saying that stopping someone from getting a job, murdering someone, or even saying derogatory things is okay. It’s not. THINKING racist-ly and ACTING racist-ly are two very different things. If you don’t like someone, whether it’s for good reason or not, you can most likely avoid that person (or that group of people) if you try really hard. You should not take YOUR issues out on them.

My purpose for this (possibly offensive) rant is that just because you are racist doesn’t mean you need to overcompensate. Treat everyone equally and it’s fine. I feel like society is so terrified of being racist that they overcompensate, putting some groups above others.

What started this? I was editing a press release for work about prejudice and minorities. First off, the whole slant of the article was very negative to whites, making it sound like ONLY whites are prejudice (well, I guess we’re the only ones that can be prejudice since we’re dominant..or something like that). I’m not sure if they were trying to be offensive or they just came across that way.

Second, and I deal with this a fair amount in press releases and articles, the terminology is inconsistent. I think one of my biggest pet peeves is use of the phrase “African American,” which is grammatically and ethnically wrong, in most instances. Just because someone is black and living in America, does not mean they are African American. Many other locales have people with dark (or “black”) skin. Jamaica comes to mind. And Haiti. I suck at geography, but I think you get my drift. Perhaps they all originally came from Africa, but you could argue, everyone else did too.

But many people use “African American” and “Caucasian” (which is even worse than African American) in order not to be offensive, while being equally offensive! (Caucasians are those people from the Caucus islands, in case you were wondering.)

This particular press release did not use “African Americans” and instead went with “Blacks” which is the best alternative. But then they did something which caused this rant: They used “Blacks” and “whites.” I can understand capitalizing “blacks” because it’s a racial group and it could make sense to capitalize it. But to capitalize “black” and not “white” is kind of odd. If you’re doing one, why not the other? What makes the use of the word “black” to indicate a racial group different from the use of the word “white” to indicate a racial group?

And that’s what irritates me. Trying to be unoffensive to one group and then being offensive to another. Just admit that you JUDGE people and move on with your life. After all, we’re all individual snowflakes.

And that means we’re all still snow.